As
this new year has come and I'm drawing near my half-way point I've been
doing a lot of looking back. Looking back and evaluating is an
important thing to do. But there are also great dangers in looking
back. Looking
back at this last transfer and this last year - in my life in general -
as a Missionary and a leader and a human being there are a lot of
things I wish I would have done differently. A lot of things I wish I
would have done better. I know hindsight is always 20-20, but despite
realizing that from my mistakes and failures there is something to
learn, in my life I feel I've never been much good at forgiving myself
and I'm rather good at flogging myself over even the smallest of things.
I will say with honesty that I kind of sunk into that this last week.
But
there's no time or reason to feel sorry for yourself in the Lord's
service. I've realized many things and changed in many ways in this
great work. As a missionary something I've been learning how to do much
more effectively is rather than just letting all of those
shoulda-coulda-wouldas turn to darkness and destructive regret, is
learning from them and identifying ways to avoid past mistakes and
improving. I've learned how to make honest apologies to others who I
feel I've let down or failed, and how to go about asking for and
receiving feedback on how to improve. It's much more helpful and it
brings about a lot more growth and progress for everything when I don't
let a mistake turn into a reason to throw a brick at my head. Just
learning how to repent and applying my energies for good is something
I've realized the Lord has really helped me change in myself as a
missionary.
I
appreciate what you sent me about President Uchtdorf's message in the
next Ensign. We'll probably get the new Liahona soon and I'm excited
for it. I've been reviewing his talk "You can do it now!" from last
conference lately as I've been considering my vision for myself and for
my mission this year and from here on out. I've definitely been feeling
the need to remember the importance of now as I've been setting goals.
Just another little thought that I had and something I've noticed in connection to what I shared last week about belief. As
my actual stance on what I believe has congealed in my heart, it's so
much easier to share with other people. It invites the Spirit so much
more to declare honestly what you believe, have felt, and experienced
than when you put on the facade that you believe or know something more
strongly than you actually do. It's so much easier to just open your
heart and say what's inside of you - because no matter how hard anyone
tries they can't argue with or take away what YOU have felt and
experienced.
This
last week for new years we've been treated a bit more than usual. The
Branch President had us over for dinner. They fed us sushi, and it was
so good! Also, the other day a member came by and brought us sashimi,
also incredibly delicious. Just last night
we went over to the "Active Non-members" house and had the most
delicious karage I have ever eaten. Karage is like Japanese fried
chicken, and it's so scrumptious!
Weather
was unusually warm (but still not warm at all) this last week. All of
the snow we got basically disappeared, and it was just super cold rain
for most of the days. But it's snowing again today. Yoshi.
Love,
Elder Kyle Hutchings
